Fireside Chat - Trust

Recently, my wife and I have been experiencing some problems regarding dependability. They aren't big problems, or anything that has caused any sort of wedge in our relationship, but they were enough to remind me that I could possibly adjust my expectations. So as I pondered on what I wanted to share for the fireside chat, I felt it would be most important to explore our interactions in relationships, and primarily with each other as a whole.

Now reflecting on my fireside chat, I think I may have picked a somewhat inflammatory phrase by telling everyone I don't trust them and that they shouldn't trust people, and I hope the deeper meaning wasn't lost by doing so. I very deliberately used the word "trust" as a means to prompt reevaluation of the word and how we throw its meaning around, but perhaps my message might have been more effective if I had used "dependability" or "expectation." Regardless, the fireside chat was more for our expression than the audience's reaction, and the expression was sincere. The idea was that when your expectations are too high of someone else, you will eventually be let down and maybe even feel distrusting of them. However, if you never invest too much "trust" in someone's ability to perfectly meet your expectations to begin with, then you will not take it personally when you find he is a normal human being. I don't feel that it is wrong to have reasonable expectations of others, but it can be detrimental to hang your happiness on those expectations, thus the cause behind reserving complete "trust" in anything you cannot control, besides God. 

For my presentation, I wanted some symbolism to be evident in what I was discussing. By reflecting my own image on the big screen, I was able to have the audience clearly see me and understand what I was saying while still having my back turned. In this way, I was demonstrating that I am open and trusting in some sense, but closed in another. I was addressing them directly, yet seeing only myself, keeping something back from the audience. At one point, I removed my jacket and faced the group, attempting to demonstrate that vulnerability and being dependent aren't the same thing. I then chose to leave the room and let the audience look at itself on the big screen, hoping they would each feel a sense of self-awareness. I returned at the end to the computer, to remind everyone that though I see them, I only look to myself when I am going to tie happiness to expectations.

This particular assignment was difficult for me. It was challenging to be vulnerable about a subject that I felt wasn't coming across well and articulate what I really meant. Although I had previously rehearsed, actually presenting was a lot different than I expected it would be, and I felt disoriented by seeing myself on the screen. However, I'm glad I did this assignment and grateful I stuck with the subject I did. It was an extremely valuable learning experience for me, especially for giving other presentations in this program, and caused me to reevaluate my own beliefs in the moment of saying them. I also thoroughly enjoyed everyone else's presentations, and felt like I was able to connect with each person on a delightfully deeper level.